– Carmen Baylies
Hebrews 12:11
King James version via BibleGateway.com
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless, afterward, it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
The Amplified Bible version via BibeGateway.com
For the time being, no discipline brings joy but seems sad and painful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterward, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness [right standing with God and a lifestyle and attitude that seeks conformity to God’s will and purpose].
New Revised Standard
Now, discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those trained by it.
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During the summer of 2021, the message behind the Hebrew passage called me to rethink my development, implementation, and process to move forward on my spiritual, enterprising ventures and the human journey. As a child, my family found importance in training and growing our life with a Christian tone. Both of my parents are Christians and never pressured me to join the church. I joined my baptist church while in middle school. The decision came to me, not because of pressure but because I felt I was old enough to make a life decision that I did not take lightly.
I participated in different community projects and church activities and carried my truths forward in my life. I never fell away from being a churchgoer, but when I reached my early twenties, I slacked off in my active nature of participation. Living in my same hometown during my young adulthood, I bumped into my pastor while leaving a bookstore. He asked, ‘If he was going to see me on Sunday?’ I responded, ‘I would attend the next service.’ Holding to my word, I rose early on Sunday, donned my Sunday’s best attire, and headed to the church with coffee in hand.
While in the church service, I felt out of sync. I remembered my commitment when I was an active member. The peace of mind my soul craved to reconnect to that type of purposeful living compelled me to act. I felt worlds apart and needed to figure a few things out on my terms and regain harmony.
I stood up at the altar call to rededicate my life to Christ and began a new journey. I went to every bible study my schedule allowed and carried my bible with me. When I went to lunch or dinner alone, I broke out my bible and notes and began to piece together what I knew when I was young and prepare for thoughtful questions when I fellowshipped with others. I joined the choir to keep myself encouraged.
I was asked once, ‘Why did I go to such lengths?, and ‘What was I trying to prove?’. I smile, now, at the reasons that kept me firmly on my path. As life challenged me physically and mentally, my firm commitment to holding to the promises I knew and learned protected, carried, and comforted me during the strain-filled times and the jubilant moments. My discipline helped me deal with engulfing grief, reassured me of better days, and pressed the notion that my labor was not in vain.
The direction and instruction of my youth clarified the assurances that the tests (obstacles/challenges/joys) are only a part of my testimony. I am still needled, challenged, and doubted; my unwavering faith reminds me to handle the things presented. I am not trying to live a perfect life. I am trying to excel in the promises and dreams. I hope that my goals align with God’s will for my life. If the projects I have constructed fail to find a way to sync with my purpose, I faithfully believe in the correction process and will be mindful to adjust and move towards my calling.
