Photo Credit: Peter Baylies and Chris Blue
Returning to academia frightened me. In high school, I excelled in schoolwork; however, my first attempt in the collegiate world, I struggled. I failed to apply focus to my studies. Honestly, I squandered a superb opportunity in scholarship due to indecision, lack of motivation, and stubbornness. Throwing myself into work seemed to fulfill me. I left college and embarked on a journey of real adulthood and living independently.
I survived and carved out a life I could handle. When life handed out disappointments and unexpected challenges, I turned to family for support and returned home. The agreement to my new living status involved holding down a job and on resuming an independent life. I secured employment, rejoined a faith-based church community life, and began a few hobbies.
Sadly, when the calendar turned to my late twenties, I hit a milestone where I faced an illness that awakened my morality awareness. With modern medicine, a large chunk of paid time off, short-term disability, and my savings, I agreed with the doctors the surgery option best suited my health issue. After a successful procedure, I felt terrific and began my road to recovery. I had no physical side effects but failed to consider the mental or emotional impact. Once in my early thirties, the ignored facts screamed that avoidance only hindered progress. As I endured the rigors of addressing the psychological distresses, I decided to take a step back from work and focus on my real recovery.
I learned about boundaries, personal trigger points, and coping tools to handle my stress load. I found goal setting a useful skill to propel me. A fundamental goal I wanted to complete revolved around obtaining a degree past my high school diploma. Even though a massive wave of stress would fill me when I tried to begin the application process, several excuses crept into my consciousness such as: “I am too old!”, “I cannot afford it!” “I failed the first time!”, or “How will I even get there?”. However, when I would close my eyes at night, a much fuller life filled my dreams and empowered me to take the risk.
Durham Technical Community College worked perfectly with my life. With family help, I applied and received an acceptance letter, registered for classes, purchased textbooks, and set a schedule. Starting with part-time status, I completed each course well beyond satisfactory grading. The pleasing scores sparked my desire to complete my tasks and caught the eye of Durham Tech’s scholarship committee. The committee offered me the Dr. John M. and Mary Lou Schwartz Memorial Scholarship, which opened the avenue to take a full semester load and a few steps closer towards graduation. My stepdad, Chris, took a photo of me after the donor’s breakfast hosted by the Durham Tech Foundation. Standing outside of my mother’s house, I pose proudly with the breakfast program.
Almost a year later, my husband, Peter, and I reconnected. Peter and I enjoy discussing different topics. I retold him a story from high school that involved him and fractals. Later that evening, he impressed me by finding this image and applying a new art style. I loved the use of colors and objects in the picture, along with the fractal archetype overlay. With one remastered image, I saw my past, present, and future wrapped in a beautiful collage of dreams from my newly acquainted friend, who would soon be my husband.